Centerfold

The girls were downstairs for an hour and a half yesterday afternoon, laughing and giggling. J came up once for help because her camera wasn't working. Other than that, I was so happy that they weren't screaming and fighting, that I just let them be.

When they came up for dinner, J asked if I could show her how to print out the pictures on her camera. She got flustered when I suggested that we could edit them and print them together. She said that L didn't want me to see them, it was a secret between the two of them. I asked L, "Would it be OK if we all look at the pictures together to get them ready to print?" She looked sheepish and told me that she didn't want me to see them.

Of course, when I heard that, I did what any other Mother would have done: after they went to bed, I looked at the pictures.

They had taken about 3 dozen pictures of L wearing various outfits from their bin of dress-up clothes and accessories...mostly accessories. For example, in one series of photos, L was wearing a headband with 2 blinking stars on antennae (for the 4th of July) around her neck, with the stars strategically placed on her chest, and she was wearing the cheer leading pom-poms as a skirt. She had a number of sultry expressions on her face, and was in several different poses. I immediately deleted about half of them.

When JP saw the photos, he moaned, "Oh no! She's going to have tons of boys after her!" Then he went to clean his guns and sort ammunition (just kidding!)

Now what do I say to my girls to let them know...gently...that these were unacceptable photos?

At breakfast this morning, JP asked the girls the difference between "pretty" and "sexy". J thought that "pretty" was like a princess, and "sexy" was like "modern fashion".

Good start.

Where the heck are they seeing "modern fashion"? We don't watch TV, the only magazines we get are Time, National Geographic and Ranger Rick, and they don't go to school.

"We were just trying to make funny ways to wear the dress-up clothes!" J told us.

L burst into tears.

"I told J not to let you see them!" she sobbed.

As she buried her head in my chest, I explained that J did not let me see, that I looked on my own. I was concerned when they didn't want me to see the pictures that there was something about them that they were ashamed of. I reassured both of the girls that we were not angry with them, and that they did not necessarily do anything wrong. JP explained that there are reasons that we dress the way we do and watch or don't watch certain things on TV.

Right now, we told them, we want you to practice being pretty like a princess, and be just as pretty on the inside. Being silly with the dress-up clothes is fine, but maybe no more pictures.

"You know that you can ask us questions about anything, right?" JP asked as we got up from the table. "I mean, ANYTHING."

"Yeah," J replied. "You get smarter when you ask questions, right?"

Right.