Hello, my name is Country Girl, and I yelled at my daughter today.
Now I feel wretched, especially since I read this article in Huffington Post at the request of my husband over the weekend. It was very convicting.
I can come up with all sorts of excuses: I grew up with yelling in my home, I don't handle stress well, my daughter was being impossible, I had a bad day and this was the last straw, etc, etc. They are just excuses, however, nothing should be bad enough to make me lose control with anyone, let alone a child.
So why do I keep doing it? It's easy, I guess. I blow my top and feel better for a fleeting millisecond before the shame and guilt flood in and stay and stay and stay. It's amazing that I don't remember this terrible feeling that I have right now the next time I get to the end of my rope.
Quitting is just not that easy, as anyone who has battled an addiction could tell you - even something that is so unhealthy for everyone involved. I've tried so many times to keep my emotions under control, and it's worked...for awhile. Then another stressful day or insolent child incident can make me fall off the wagon again.
So, I'm taking the advice of this anonymous Mom, and admitting to the world that I am an "Orange Rhino". I am committing myself, again, to love more and yell less. I want so much to feel like I've done a decent job both as a person and as a parent when I go to bed at night. I want my girls to stop yelling too - something they have learned from me, I'm sure.
Who's with me?
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