Mindfulness

Did you see the moon last night? It was huge, yellow-orange and nearly full. I have searched all my life for the elusive "Man in the Moon". Last night I thought I saw him, round faced, ruddy and laughing, reminiscent of The Ghost of Christmas Present from the "Muppet's Christmas Carol". This is the Harvest Moon, which coincided last night with the Autumn Equinox for the first time since 1991. It won't happen again until 2029, when little L will be 24 years old.

Lately, I have been noticing things in more detail. This is a conscious action, based on the recommendation of my counselor to practice Mindfulness. The practice of Mindfulness is basically living in the moment. When a person's mind wanders, she told me, we either think about the future, which causes anxiety, or we ruminate on the past, which can lead to feelings of guilt, sadness, and anger. It is more difficult to do than I expected.

I started practicing on my morning walks with the dog. Up on top of the hill the sky was clear this morning, yet down in the hollows the mist swirled like the foam on a good cappuccino. The soft wind smelled of Fall: leaves and soil. The golden heads of wild flowers nodded like Queens above the bowing field of grasses. For a few minutes, I was thoroughly in the moment...and then I remembered that J and I needed to scurry through lessons this morning before picking L up at Pre-School and running to the grocery store and library, oh yeah, and violin lessons this afternoon...

This week, my counselor introduced a new concept: Radical Acceptance. This refers to the ability to let those things go that don't work out as planned. Like the fact that attempting Mindfulness makes me miss the moments where I used to let my mind go blank. Empty brain is easier to handle. Is that such a bad thing?