Friday, December 16, 2016

Confession

I have to confess...I'm bonkers.

To many of you, this will not be a new detail about my life.  What I'm hoping is that talking about it will make it easier to live my day to day life without a breakdown.

I am completely focused on, freaked out about, and obsessed with the water situation here.  Understandably, it's been a huge thing to tackle on many levels.  The financial cost is pretty ginormous, but that doesn't bother me as much as the conserving water or budgeting time to haul said water on a weekly basis.

The well drilling rig came out Monday afternoon, and after the guys spent about 30 minutes setting things up, they disappeared...haven't seen or heard from them since.  In the meantime, it snowed an inch or two, and the temperatures dropped into the single digits.  This means that the snow is staying, and where we've driven up and down the driveway on it repeatedly, it's gotten pretty slick.  Consequently, it is a bit dangerous to drive the non-4WD truck up and down it multiple times to haul water. 

I'm getting really tired of conserving as well.  I'm grossed out by unflushed toilets, and I freeze in the shower where I spend only 3 minutes under hot water, and the rest of the time soaping, shampooing or conditioning & shivering.  It worries me to use extra hot water to thaw the frozen water-ers from the below freezing chicken house.  I finally broke down today and did a load of laundry because I put on my last pair of clean underwear this morning.

It is taking it's toll physically.  I am not sleeping well - I wake multiple times a night and think about what I need to do that uses water, whether I'll be able to do it, and if I might be able to haul a load or two in the upcoming days.  I have a chronic headache, and I'm starting to get a chronic stomachache.

It sucks.

This is how I used to feel every time I saw a forecast for a winter storm for a few winters after the one that left us in the dark and the cold for over a week.  (Oh yeah, there's one coming tonight, so the driveway will not be getting less icy any time soon.)  That anxiety is better now, especially since I have this new obsession to focus on.

I'm not sure how to deal with this.  I'm trying to make use of the nervous energy by tackling all of the end of the year projects I have.  I've tried to distract myself by listening to podcasts or reading, but I can't concentrate.  If I could just SEE someone out here, starting work on the well, it would do a world of good...for a while.  In the meantime, send all of your warm weather this way.  That and some Valium might just do the trick!

1 comment:

Victoria Williams said...

I think ANYONE would be freaked out about the water issues you have. I know I would. We have a well at our house and once in a while I worry about it breaking down; what would be our situation then?
I once heard someone say they gave themselves 10 minutes every morning to worry about something they couldn't do anything about, then they moved on to other things. We all know worrying doesn't accomplish anything but it's soooooo hard not to do, worrying over our children, our bills, our pets, and our lack of running water.
I can only hope you get your well dug ASAP. Love and hugs.