Monday, November 4, 2013

Temper Tantrum

I am embarrassed to admit that I let my temper get the best of me tonight, and even worse, I made my daughter cry.

Today has been a disappointing day all around, but after that, I wanted to crawl under a rock and not show my face again until tomorrow.

JP took a vacation day today, since he spent the biggest part of Saturday taking exams. It ends up that he spent the biggest part of today on the computer, doing charts...not much fun for either of us, or very relaxing for him.

Both of the dogs barfed on several occasions today.

J & I spent close to 2 hours at the Orthodontist today - at 2 separate appointments.  We went in the morning to get the broken appliance replaced that they removed on Thursday.  After assessing the situation again, they finally gave up and decided to make a new one.  Thus we returned after school for another hour while they put the new one in.

My back/hip was feeling better today until I went to PT again.  Now it is pretty sore again.

One of the girls did something very disappointing at school today.  It was all the more disappointing because she was punished for doing the VERY SAME THING at the end of last year.  I thought the punishment was fairly harsh, but apparently it wasn't harsh enough. 

Right before dinner, L knocked over a bowl of garlic in the pantry, cascading papery garlic skins down over all the shelves below and onto the floor.

Both girls complained about the food at dinner.

By the time dinner was over, I was at the tipping point.  Then L came skipping into the kitchen, carrying her plate and cup and proceeded to pour the water from her cup not INTO the sink, but NEXT TO the sink, and all down the cupboards and over my foot. I snarled out her name, and tossed the cup into a corner of the counter, where it shattered a drinking glass.  That is when the tears began.
Not only do I feel terrible about being an awful example and a horrible Mom tonight, I've had this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach for days because I worry that I criticize the girls too much. 

I recently saw a video clip on line, showing several Moms talking about the areas where they feel that they fall short as parents, and then their kids talking about how much their Moms love them and how much fun their Moms are.  Is that how MY kids feel about ME?  I so hope they do!

I'm so tired.  I guess the best course of action right now would be to call it a day.  Perhaps in the daylight tomorrow, this will all seem less tragic and overwhelming, and I can tackle the recovery process step by step.  Maybe that gnawing feeling is really an ulcer from the handfuls of Ibuprofen I've been taking for the past 2 weeks?  In any case, wallowing in my abysmal failures won't change anything.  So, suck it up T-Dawg!  Get a grip and get on with life!


Sally said...

Chin Up T-Dawg! Your girls are very lucky to have you and they know it! We all have our moments. Radically accept it and try to do better next time. xoxo

Kimberly Long Cockroft said...

Oh, you poor dearie. Ask for love to shower down on you--you need love just as much as your kids, just as much as the rest of us. Moms need to forgive themselves before they go back to loving their kiddos. Much love to you from WA from a fellow imperfect one.