Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Pale

I had to BUY eggs today for the first time in about 3 years!  The production of our 18 hens has been PATHETIC for most of the past 2 months, and I have gradually sold fewer and fewer at the Farmer's Market.  I haven't sold any there for over a month now.  For the past 2 weeks, I haven't even had enough to give a dozen to my parents now and then.  We have fewer than 1 dozen of our own eggs in our possession at any one time.  I'm so disgusted with those stupid chickens!

JP threatens to butcher them all so that we can at least have the meat.  Otherwise, we will continue to incur the expense of feeding them all winter long with no pay back.  Ugh.  I'm not ready to butcher and process a dozen or eighteen more hens!

I'm pretty disgusted with my youngest daughter right now as well.  L had a bad afternoon/evening.  She is so OCD about coloring (I hear stories that
she is spending recesses catching up on her coloring work), that it took her more than an hour this evening to color a picture of an ear of Indian Corn despite continual encouragement to move things along.    Following the coloring fiasco, in which she did not accomplish the things that she was SUPPOSED to do (like set the table and practice piano), she proceeded to scream and cry for the next 2 1/2 hours.  Some of that is because she wanted to practice piano BEFORE she ate dinner, and part was because she didn't "know how" to practice piano AFTER dinner, and the rest is because I sent her to bed early WITHOUT practicing piano and without a story.  Not only that, she broke (I'm pretty sure it wasn't an accident) her sister's birthday balloon that I brought home today, AND I caught her reading with a flashlight almost an hour after she was sent to bed early.

SIGH.  I did not manage to control my temper throughout this entire night, which I'm sure didn't help matters.  I feel only slightly better knowing that JP wasn't able to either.  The problem is, this child gets herself worked up to a point where any smidgen of rationality is completely gone.  Where talking doesn't work, and where the only thing that seems to get through is corporal punishment (and that only minimally.)  She is going to be a MESS in the morning.

I always feel slightly queasy after one of these terrible episodes with the kids.  I question my ability to raise children, and I eat WAY too much chocolate.  I am always broadsided by L's outbursts because it is such a Jekyll and Hyde transformation.  She goes from my sweet, loving, and mild-mannered little girl, to a screaming, spitting, and kicking monster. 

All this to say that I am feeling rather as pale as those store bought eggs this evening.  I think I'll go lie down!

1 comment:

Kimberly Long Cockroft said...

Oh, poor you. We all have these totally horrible moments where we wonder where we went wrong and how can our kids be the way they are being. L's age-mate has picked up this terrible habit of lying through her teeth and I'm thinking as she tells me yet another whopper with a straight face, How could it have come to this?
What does Anne say, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it?"
Well, tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. It will be better.
I'd love to see that Indian corn. :) It must look superb.