Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Ennui

Isn't that a great word?  I learned it in 10th grade, when I was trying to learn all the vocabulary words that I could before taking the SATs.  That about sums it up:  a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction, boredom.  I've got all that, plus I'm really sad too. 

It is drizzling outside, and the girls are playing nicely downstairs, but I'm finding it hard to make myself do anything this afternoon.  The grey skies match my mood.  So far I've avoided dealing with all this loss by working really hard and pushing it way down under all the dust and laundry and weeds where I can't find it.  Today, it has surfaced, and I'm trying not to curl up in a fetal position and sob.

So far I've posted about the lovely friends that my girls have lost.  Now here is the post about MY peeps, some of the best women I've been privileged to hang with.

 
I've known T the longest, and she is my go-to-girl for how-to advice.  T helped me tile my bathroom floor (all the while battling morning sickness, which she didn't tell me about until later.)  She makes the most incredible birthday cakes, and if there's any tool you might need, she probably has it available to borrow.  She is an amazing artist, and is game to try any kind of craft with the kids that you might come up with.  Top all that with the fact that she is FUNNY and kind and a lot of fun to be around.

 
My friend K, is the sunniest and brightest person I know.  She is so laid back, that I've been able to dial back my OCD from her influence (see my recent post about the incidence of grungy hostessing.)  She is a story-teller supreme, and we are all waiting to see her first YA novel out in print.  I found K to be a kindred spirit in regards to sustainable living when I was beginning to despair of finding that in this small town.  Not only that, but we were both nursing 6 month old girls the day we first met...how often does that happen?  She is up for ANYTHING, ANY TIME, including crazy 40th birthday parties.


M is a beautiful and intelligent woman who shares the same professional calling in medicine as myself.  She is always seems so well put together and on top of the Mom thing AND the professional thing, that she has inspired me many a day when I thought I was failing at one or the other.  She is charming and energetic, and I always enjoy spending time with her.  She is also not afraid to break routine...and is known to try 200 foot long slip-n-slides while fully clothed.

Now there is just myself, S1, and S2 left here.  We all embraced in the library this morning when we met during drop off for the children's program.  "It seems so...lonely somehow," S2 commented.  "Alternate reality, " I agreed.  We sighed and departed.  We're all feeling this ennui.

I really should go do something productive to take my mind off things right now.  Maybe I'll tackle those curtains for the tree house.  S1 brought me fabric from her mother's house...it would only take a few straight seams...

2 comments:

Kimberly Long Cockroft said...

Wow! What great tributes. I'm not sure how sunny or bright I could have been those years of tiny children without my dear friends. I would have been swampy and sad all the time.

Even now I'm trying to figure out how to live this different life, without my homies. Woman is not meant to be alone. :)

Miss you guys.

Sally said...

Lovely T.

Looking forward to seeing those curtains and that quilt.

Kick that ennui in the butt!!

xoxo

S1 out