Today was one of those days that ended on a downer. I'm needing encouragement tonight, so come on...give it up!!
We had a good morning, fit a lot in, including letting the chickens out to scratch in the garden and finishing up school before lunch.
I had a great afternoon. I manned the office on my own for about 3 hours before the surgeons made it in from the O.R...felt very appreciated and worthwhile.
I came home and was informed that my children were not well behaved while I was away. The thing that makes me the most sad, is that they are not honest about their mistakes. Of course, when they display this behavior outside of the privacy of our home, I feel like someone yanked my swimsuit off at a beach jam-packed full of people. It feels like a critique of me and/or my parenting, when my attention is brought to my girls' problems.
Of course, this is over reacting on my part. It is surely the duty of every child to embarrass the heck out of their parents at LEAST once in their lives! But I am sitting here in the dark, hunched over the computer, wondering...what should I have done differently? How do I deal with these issues now? Why in the WORLD is L doing so many impulsive CRAZY things lately?
Then, while my self esteem is in the crapper, we discover another sick hen. My confidence in care taking is now thoroughly shattered. I can't even take care of BIRDS for goodness sake! (How can I even be expected to raise 2 children!) I had to call my friend, M, to give me chicken reassurance. "Yes." He says. "It sounds like you are doing all the right things...except for wanting to keep chickens in the first place!"
OK, T...time to take a deep breath and climb out of the swamp of self pity you're currently wallowing in! RADICAL ACCEPTANCE!!
Guess I'll be digging another hole in the woods in the morning.
5 months ago